I realize that some of the things I have learned in my earlier years are deeply ingrained and consequently it has not always been an easy task to re-evaluate and adapt and accept new beliefs in a search for fulfillment. Having been raised in a particular faith it is not easy to avoid feelings of guilt when seeming to desert what was taught by loving parents.
Preparing for my first communion as a child made its mark in a very deep and significant way. I learned that I must pray to Jesus and that he will in turn guide and protect me. I was made aware of my Guardian Angel and of life after death.
When I begun to stray from those teachings and form my own views there was a lack of explanation or help to enable me to understand how, as an individual, I could come to terms with so many questions.
Losing several members of my family very early in my life created many doubts and a lot of confusion in my mind. The death of my father when I was just age 17 was almost the last straw. My father had close connections with The Jesuits in Malaga, but none of them come to help us when we really needed friends and guidance. We were a very desolate family, losing dad was devastating but I still carried on being a good Christian.
Some very unexpected things began to happen to us. Against all odds, both my mother and I found good jobs within five weeks of my father’s passing. A series of events occurred during the following years which I still cannot understand or explain even today.
My father was very enthusiastic about sending me abroad to work and widen my horizons. It was a very difficult time in Spain and he tried all he could. He did not believe that there was a future for me in Spain and that I should seek opportunities elsewhere.
Three or four years later someone else started pushing me to come to England and I had a ticket to fly on the 4th of November 1967 from Málaga to London, I think there was only one flight a week at that time. At the last moment, the 4th was my saint’s day, my family did their best to make me change the ticket for the 11th instead, and luckily I did. On the 4th of November Iberia Airlines had its first plane disaster when flight 602 crashed killing everyone on board as it approached Heathrow.
My Spiritual learning has been a long journey. Due to the fact that learning and practising Spiritualism needs some organisation, I will continue to do as much as I can for my fellow Spaniards.